It's now been 3 days since my little brother departed this earth and began his eternal rest. The first two days were extremely difficult. The littlest thought of my brother would have me in tears. Every text I received, every tweet I got, every time the phone rang, would make me feel so sad. I haven't had a lot of sleep the past 3 days. Every time I close my eyes, the image of my brother's lifeless body laying on that hospital bed would creep up into my dream, and I wake up. I swear, this is one extremely bitter pill to ingest, but somehow I must find a way to swallow it.
I think about all the things I got to experience, and it saddens me that he was denied the chance to experience those things like I did. Like walking across the stage and receiving my high school diploma, something he would have done this coming Sunday, if he were still alive. Like going to college, something he would have started this fall, if he were still alive. Like turning 19 years old, something he would have done on July 25th, if he were still alive. That's what makes this hurt even more. When my grandma passed away almost 8 years ago, she was 81 years old. She lived a full life. Her labor turned into full reward. I was sad, but not like this. Because my brother was so young, hadn't even entered the prime of his life, his death stings even more. Like salt being poured on an open wound.
Me and Ced didn't get to see each other much. We have the same father, but we were raised very separately. Regardless of that, I loved my brother unconditionally. My brother wasn't a bad kid. Our father always reiterated to me and Ced to be better than him, to not make the same mistakes he did growing up. To always have respect for other people.
My brother touched so many people's lives in a positive manner. As I was going through Ced's friend's Myspace profiles to get recent pics of him, everyone had something positive to say about my brother. That's the type of impact you should leave on this earth, so that when your day comes to go home to the Lord, people will remember you for the goodness of your deeds and nothing else. So many people have shared with me and my family all the good things my brother did, how he was a good kid, how he rededicated his life to Christ, on his own, how he went and registered for classes at BCC, ON HIS OWN. My brother was a class act, and that's how we should remember him.
As we prepare to send my brother home to his final resting place, I remember the good times we had. Flipping through pics of us growing up, my brother always had a big smile on his face. That's how I will choose to remember him. To all my brother's friends, please honor my brother's legacy by doing right in life. I know you all are in so much agony and pain, trust me I feel your pain. Follow my brother's example. That's the best way to remember Ced. Remember he's now in a better place, free from harm, pain, and all the other BS we have to go through down here on Earth. God has his loving hands around Ced. He's at peace, and at home.
Good night everyone. God Bless!
2 comments:
I can't say I know how it feels, and I know it's not easy, but your positivity is amazing at this time in your life, and I pray that God continues to uplift you and your family and friends. Be blessed!
Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe that blog man...I seriously felt that emotionally Q because I have lost someone close to me too. I mean it was a few years ago but she meant so much to me (my Aunt) so I understand the pain. But like you said your btoher didnt even have a chance to accomplish the things that on a normal basis some of us take for granted. But fear not homie he walked across that stage & got that diploma man, i have tons of faith in that.
Post a Comment